Orange You Glad…

CWC Group Play

Orange You Glad We Can’t Die Anymore

MC greatest fear…death

Alex is MC

ATG what’s behind their anger at the world…price of oranges too high

ATG is Sarah

MC all consuming goal…to become immortal

New character enters w/ distressing announcement…oranges are in short supply because they’re the key to immortality

NC is Ivy

AGT age & descriptions…tall woman w/ taller hair, 25 yr, disgruntled college student, Present Mic hair

Complication…MC allergic to oranges

ATG name…Citrus Reamer, (a tall pale man with tall pale hair)

ATG occupation…orthodontist

Why MC can’t stand up to ATG…fears Novocain.

CR drowning in student loans…has nothing to lose.

Setting at rise…shopping mall where the dentist’s office is.

MC owes $ to Ivy, but CR overcharged her to pay off student debts.

MC gonna die in a month b/c can’t pay back orange mob.

Orange mob can make “lactose-free” oranges but they’re $$$.

MC behind on payment plan to orange mob.

__________

ALEX: First of all bitch. CR overcharged me for my orthodontic work. I went in to get my braces off, and they insisted I needed bottom braces and I was already being fitted for a retainer and I don’t have insurance and the mob is staked out. I’m running out of immortality juice for the month.

MOTHER (deuter) : Why are you so obsessed with being immortal even though you’re allergic to the oranges. Just age normally. You’re mother’s begging you, Pro Jean Tagonist.

CITRUS: Please, Miss Tagonist, idk what you’re talking about, I provide nothing but the best quality bracial remover. That’s a medical term.

MS TAG: Wow, you’re such a good orthodontist.

Enter mob boss, on a pogo stick.

IVY: I went on an expedition in some jungle, and instead of finding the fountain of youth, I found some oranges. But then my wife died. And then divorced me in the middle of the jungle. I’m gay and mad.

Falls off pogo stick. Falls to knees and screams in pain at the sheer cost of obtaining these oranges.

IVY: *pterodactyl scream*

CITRUS: Pogo no.

MS TAG: You’re so funny.

Pogo stick boing boing is like snapping in Westside Story.

One of the oranges is the infinity orange of space, time, and life…but can’t use it on herself.

•   *    *

Starting over—Flash round!

ATG goal…trying to design a Nascar car.  That guy at Faniel Hall

Taylor

MC fear…going fast

Me

ATG age and desc. — 7.5 ft tall (can’t fit in other racecars. No one let her drive one. 40 yrs, all you want to do in ride in a car. Has to walk everywhere.)

Character in mask—ATG wears a small animal mask to make herself look bigger

MC goal…disband Nascar, or make the world stop.

Narrator from Into the Woods, Meg

Behind ATG anger at the world…already explained. Never been in control of driving. Nascar is a family business. She has to be pit crew.

ANT name.. Slola LaCar

MC name…Dashley

Character enters with package…delivery man ( brings limo.

Fantasy scene of Slola as a pigmy owl in a pigmy owl race.

Vroom…indicates the duality of man.

Family…all played by Ivy

_________

SLOLA: I’m not working on a car right now.

NARRATOR: She was.

SHORT DAD: (on phone) You need to bang all the dads. Vroom.

NARRATOR: In this family they don’t say I love you, they say “vroom.” And I think that’s beautiful.

SLOLA’s SISTER: That’s not what bang means dad.

DASHLEY: You’re trying to make the world too fast, bitch. The world is spinning too fast. I feel sick.

NARRATOR: She felt sick.

DELIVERY MAN: I agree. The world is going too fast. I’m not going to deliver things so fast anymore.

SLOLA: I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.