Archive | May, 2016

Write the Fight Right

30 May

Here’s a neat article about common misconceptions about writing fight scenes.

 

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Remember the beginning?

25 May

So I found some of the pass around stories from the beginning of the year. For your reading pleasure we have:

Melissa was a polar bear who lived in the zoo. Melissa hated icebergs.
The Titanic really scared the crap out of Melissa.
She couldn’t swim. At all. And she hated it. So when she fell into the cold, dark water she
tried to swim, but it was too late. The electric eels had her in their grip.
“Wait what do you mean electric eels? As in the sea creature?” I asked.
“Yes the sea creatures, what else could I be talking about?” She replied.
“I don’t know, the sky creatures?” She shot back. “Why are you discriminating? There are sky creatures too!”
Even if we’re not sky creatures, we’re all something.
Even if we can’t be dragons, we’re beautiful.
“No, I’d rather be a dragon.”
One skunk jumps out and says, “why be dragons when we can be possums?”
Then the elder said “No fucking way.”
They cried and watched Mulan for the rest of the night.

And:

I realized that man’s creation of the pencil has caused society to think that all mistakes are irreversible.
The next day I threw my cigarette butt in the trash instead of the ground.
Oscar the Grouch screamed in horror as his eyebrows caught on fire and melted off. Big Bird came running towards him and screamed at the top of his lungs:
“THAT IS MY HORSE AND I DID NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO RIDE HIM! STOP AT ONCE!”
Percius bowed low before the great dragon.
“I am not worthy of your glory.” He said.
“That is the single truest thing you have said all week.” She snipped. “It’s just too bad that you didn’t realize it sooner.”
“And now it’s too late; you’ve killed him.”
“How will I go on with life without him?”
“I loved him!”
But I also hate him, so I killed him.
Not to fear, I found another man, Roberto.
He would kill my ex-lover John for me. All I needed was the knife.
I patted my pockets until I felt it. I couldn’t afford to lose it.