Archive | March, 2014

Dialogue Samples

5 Mar

Scenario 1: A mysterious stranger on the run in a foreign country and a local (didn’t come out very well)

“Excuse me, can you tell me the way to the nearest train station?”

“…”

“Train. TRAIN. Uh, il treno?”

“Quale treno prendi?”

“…”

“Parli italiano? Affatto?”

“Uh, I DON’T SPEAK ITALIANO. BUT I NEED IL TRENO. DONDE IL TRENO?”

“Non sono spagnolo! Perche vai al paese in cui non parli la lingua? Che americano!”

“YES, yes, I’m American. Do you speak english? Enggglish? Wait, where are you going? Wait, come back! Ugh! How the hell am I supposed to do anything? Stupid fuckin’ idea, oh yeah they won’t find me in Italy.”

“Excuse me sir.”

“Oh thank goodness, someone who speaks English. Can you help me find the nearest train station?”

“It’s eight blocks down Via D’Ignazzio and then to your right.”

“Eight blocks? I barely have any time left…”

“It would be nice to say thank you. Especially considering how rude you were to my great grandmother before.”

“What? Yeah, okay, thanks.”

Scenario 2: Me and someone I know (not important but it’s my bestest friend Maireni)

“I can’t believe I stayed up till like 5 am this morning. What was I doing?”
“Yeah!”
“I wasn’t tired.”
“I woke at 3!”
“I woke at 8:30. AND WAS OKAY. Like what?”
“Ha ha, you’re not human.”
“That would explain so much. And I mean I’m starting to get a bit sleepy now but this is the kind of sleepy I’m used to being awake through. So it doesn’t make me wanna sleep.”
“There’s nothing to make me fix my sleep schedule right now honestly.”
“I just can’t wait for my break to start. K-DRAMAS ALL DAY EVERY DAY.”
“All the motivation you need.”
“I’ll also be in warmer weather with DC. Warmer being like 50 degrees but it’ll be worth it. I don’t know what it is but Stevie Wonder songs make me so happy. Like ridiculously happy and giddy and I think it’s because of the way he sings about love and the 60s feel to it. He sings about love in a way that makes you wanna fall in love; even if, like me, that’s not what you want or it’s a heartbreak song. AHHH, just Stevie Wonder. I want to listen to his music always.”
“You know, I don’t really listen to him often. I’m slacking.”
“It’s okay.”
“But I know how happy he makes you.”
“Well hey, if there’s any song you should listen to, it’s this one: Sylvia. I’ve been obsessed with it for the past month or so. Partly because it’s the name of the main female character in my book and it kinda reflects how the guy feels about her and just makes my OTP (yes, i ship my characters hard) so much cuter; and partly because it’s just so wonderful.”
“Yay! Okay, how do you feel about Lionel Richie?”
“Eh, I don’t really listen to him.”
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“Don’t ever do that”- Naked Dialogue Practice

5 Mar

“Oh, holy shit!”

“What?”

“Oh, my god! Are…are you alright?”

“Yeah. What, what happened?”

“You seemed awfully hurt. You need to go see a doctor right away. There seems to be some serious bone fractures, and look at those bruises! I would suggest you go check yourself up, oh, my, there’ might even be some internal bleeding…”

“No, what are you talking about? I’m alright.”

“No, no, no, you have to go to the ER right away…”

“There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“No, you look like you just fell from heaven…”

“Wait, wh—“

“Angel.”

“Seriously?”

“Can I have your phone number?”

“That’s your pick-up line? In a bar? You just fell from heaven angel?”

“Do…do you have a bandage? Because I think I scraped my knee falling for you–hey, wait!”

Some Dialogues . . . Yeah

5 Mar

So here are my dialogues!

Dialogue 1:

 

Scenario: A diner waitress and the travel writer sitting at her counter.

 

 

“You still have coffee?”

“‘Course.”

“That, yes. A cup. Or a mug. Whatever. One please. Black.”

“That’ll be decaf right?”

“No, no, the good stuff.”

“Sir, are you alright?”

“Hmm? Me, yes I’m . . . I’m fine. Just need a little pick me up, that’s all.”

She returns with a black-rimmed diner coffee pot and an mug. Her customer leans over the mug, letting the warm wisps of steam curl around his nose. His eyes don’t leave the rippling coffee until the gentle scratch of a plate on the counter draws his attention.

“On the house.”

“Oh, uh, thanks.”

He takes a greedy forkful, but his face pinches as the pie touches his tongue. He coughs behind a fist, wincing as he swallows the bite.

“I’ts, ghhumm . . . delicious.”

“You’re not from around here, are you?”

 

Dialogue 2:

Scenario: two students spray painting the school dumpster

 

“Bobby, I don’t know if we should be doing this. What if Principle Stiles see us? What if anyone sees us?”

“Come on Lucas, don’t be a baby.”

“There are people everywhere! The third graders are out on the playground, the kindergarten busses will be leaving soon and every teacher in the math wing can see us out the window!”

“Would the wittle baby wather be out on the monkey bars?”

“Shut up, I’m not a baby.”

“What are you then, Princess?”

“I’m cautious.”

“Well cautious never go nobody nowhere!”

“Anywh—“

“You correcting me again, Lucas?”

“No.”

“Good. So hurry up and grab those cans. Make sure you shake ‘em good.”

“Well.”

“What’d you say?”

“I said ‘ok.’”

“’S what I thought. Now go quick. You got the design memorized right? Good kid. It’ll be easy, just shake and spray, like I seen you doin’ in art class, on the count of one, two — ”

“I can’t do this! I’m sorry Bobby, but I can’t. I can’t, ok? I thought I could but — ”

“Now listen up half-pint, I didn’t pull you out of that toilet bowl for nothin’. Deal’s a deal. If I’m gonna be your new best friend, you’re gonna do a few things for me. Starting with spray paintin’ Principle Stiles’ face on front of that dumpster. Unless you want Delilah Daley to see you getting a swirly every day for the rest of the sixth grade.”

“That’s not fair!”

“If you insist, I’m sure I can have it arranged for her to get one too.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Want to try me, Picasso Boy?”

“Actually what you’re asking for is more along the lines of a cartoon in the style of — Hey! Hey! Let me go! Put me down!”

“I’ll put you down, right into the dumpster, and you won’t come out ’til you  paint it.”

“No, please! My mom’ll kill me if I ruin this— ”

“Boys! What’s going on over there?”

“Vice Principle Walters!”

“Look what you’ve done now, Fart Brain!”

“Mr. Evens, unhand that young man at once.”

“Oof!”

“That’ll be a detention right there. And Lucas Reed? I never expected this type of behavior from you.”

A Sci-fi Thing That Reminds Me a lot of Stargate

2 Mar

Hi guys, me again. I went to the dining hall with all the best intentions of doing homework, and this happened instead. I’m posting this to try to encourage more people to use the blog. (And also for the instant gratification that comes with word vomiting into the internet. It’s like fan fiction, minus most of the people.) Anyway, I want people to feel like you can post any writing you do, regardless of how good or polished it may or may not be. The point is to share in order to get constructive comments on your work, and be inspired by other people’s. So get bloggin’ !!!!

Ok, so this is an update of a little thing (not really a story, more like a cluster of scenes) I did over the summer, I think actually in what was basically one sitting, kind of like this. Anyway, it’s one of my crap stories that exists for the sole purpose of entertaining myself, but working on it turned out to be really fun and freeing, especially because I didn’t have any expectations for it.

It’s written as a comic book script even thought the original wasn’t, and it’s not necessarily supposed to be a comic. (But if it was, it would have art in the style of the new Ms. Marvel book. Just saying.) Basically the formatting was an excuse for me not to have to describe things, and to let the software fill in everybody’s names for me (although I think I finally can spell lieutenant. Yay!) It also means that a lot of somewhat things aren’t described. Sorry. I’d like to draw some of the pieces up sometime, but let’s face it, that probably won’t happen for a while.

The formatting basically works like this: (skip this part if you don’t care) A real comic script (for which, fun fact, there is no standard format, unlike a film script. Interesting.) would be divided into pages, with the different panels numbered and described, and the dialogue written like a film script. This uses my software (Scrivener — it’s cool; I really  like it) ‘s feature to add in the numbers all computer program my style with <$SN> instead of a number.  It’s not broken into pages, but the different scenes are marked with *   *   * . To make things even more fun, I didn’t add the Panel markers in a lot of places, because for most of it I didn’t make up the layout of each panel, only the general action.

So anyway . . . It’s very sci-fi (space ships, aliens, the whole shebang) and yes, the whole hyper gate this bears a striking resemblance to Stargate: SG1. Deal with it.

Sorry, one more thing. This hasn’t been edited, and Scrivener has an autocorrect feature which I really should disable, but that means the typos are only like 85% my fault.

To make things even more wonderful, WordPress apparently doesn’t support the whole dialogue in the center thing. I hope you can read this!

Without further ado . . .

PANEL <$SN>

Let’s see, do I remember how to use this formatting? Not really.

PANEL <$SN>

INT – Hypergate room – Day.

Ten soldiers stand at attention around the ring of the hyper gate, fully geared and ready to move.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Alright boys, short and sweet. We drop into the base, we blow it. Michelson, Chung, you’ve on point. Any questions?

PANEL <$SN>

The automatic door slides open with a hiss. Feet stand angled in the doorway, Easton’s battle sword hanging from her left hip.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Yeah. Aren’t you forgetting something?

PANEL <$SN>

She leans against the doorframe.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Or someone?

PANEL <$SN>

Brayden looks her way.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Return to your post, Lieutenant. You’re not on this mission roster.

PANEL <$SN>

Both of them.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

And why not, exactly? I see all of Alpha here except me.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

A word, Lieutenant?

PANEL <$SN>

He pulls her aside, they talk quietly, their faces close together.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

I can’t believe you —

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

What the hell has gotten into you? Interrupting my mission briefings, disobeying direct orders . . .

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Into me? This is the fifth time this month that you’ve assembled an Alpha mission without my knowledge.I’m the Lieutenant Commander of —

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Exactly. And I’m the actual Commander. Until that changes you will do as I say.

Easton gives a contemptuous frown.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Yes Sir.

Brayden starts to turn away.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

I want you to scrub the mission.

He turns back, grabbing her arm and pulling her threateningly close.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Excuse me?

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

You heard me. I want you to take me with you, or scrub the mission.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Easton, if you know something . . . If you’ve seen something . . .

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

I haven’t, I swear. But I . . . It’s hard to explain. Glen please. I will beg if I have to. I need to be down there.

A TECHNICIAN’S VOICE

Hypergate activation in t- minus 20 seconds.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Just so you know, most commanders would have stranded you on the nearest habitable world for such blatant disrespect.

PANEL <$SN>

A laser aligns the two blocks.

PANEL <$SN>

They start to spin and glow in unison.

PANEL <$SN>

A silvery-blue field begins to extend from each ring.

PANEL <$SN>

The field unites into one cylindrical event horizon.

PANEL <$SN>

Brayden pushes Easton back, addressing her so the whole room can here.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Get comfortable, Lieutenant. You are officially on probation and confined to the ship until further notice.

PANEL <$SN>

He advances toward the gate, an turns back.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

And make sure everyone you speak to addresses you by your title, because after we get back you’ll never hear it again.

(cont)

Move out.

PANEL <$SN>

The last of the soldiers disappearing though the field. Brayden looks back at Easton as his face slips through the field.

PANEL <$SN>

The field is gone. The smoking metal tracts retract into cooling solution. Easton kicks the wall.

PANEL <$SN>

She leans her forehead against her forearm resting against the wall.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Damn it.

*     *     *

PANEL <$SN>

INT. – GATE CONTROL ROOM – LATER

Easton paces in front on the window, and the two technicians seated at the counter.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

It’s been too long. They should be back by now.

BRENNER

They’ll be along soon.

POWELL

Unless of course they’re all dead. Wait for the answer somewhere else.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Consider how you speak to me, Officer Powell. I am the ranking officer on this ship.

POWELL

Not for long from what I hear. I would have given anything to have been on duty when the Commander chewed you out.

Easton braces her hands on the arms of Powell’s chair, staring at him menacingly as he shrinks as far back as possible.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Long enough to make you regret that.

BRENNER

I’m sure you had a good reason for you actions Ma’am.

She points a finger at the second technician

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Don’t patronize me Brenner. It is absolutely none of your —

COMPUTER VOICE

Emergency communication signal incoming. ID signature: Corporal Madison.

Sound effects of gunfire, boots and cries of pain come through the speakers.

MADISON

Open the gate! Open the gate!

(cont)

We’re taking . . . heavy fire.

(cont)

The Commander . . . is down.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Open it.

BRENNER

Heavy fire protocol dictates —

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Protocol override, just open it!

Easton hits the intercom button

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Beta Company report to gate room for emergency protocol 276. This is not a drill.

PANEL <$SN>

INT. GATEROOM HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

Easton grabs for a energy gun from the rack by the door, and other hands join her.

PANEL <$SN>

They take up defensive positions behind the shields as the portal comes to life.

PANEL <$SN>

Red-orange bursts of gunfire shoot around the room as the soldiers stagger through the field.

PANEL <$SN>

Major Brooks falls through the gate on his hands and knees.

PANEL <$SN>

A Murinarian soldier jumps on his back, scythe raised.

PANEL <$SN>

Easton.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Cover me!

PANEL <$SN>

She runs forward, catching the enemy soldier in the crosshairs of her gun.

PANEL <$SN>

The soldier flies backward as Easton drags Brooks to safety.

PANEL <$SN>

And orange light flickers in the corner of her eye.

PANEL <$SN>

Her fingers reach for the sword on her belt.

PANEL <$SN>

As she twists her hands on the handle, a string of red light shoots from the end, not quite completed yet.

PANEL <$SN>

Sparks fly as the red string of her sword clashes with the orange edge of the Murinarian’s katana.

PANEL <$SN>

Her steps cause his feet to cross, and him to stumble backward as he looses his balance.

PANEL <$SN>

Easton lands a powerful kick to his chest, sending him flying through the field.

PANEL <$SN>

Easton blocks more energy blasts as the last two soldiers drag the Commander through behind them, his boot hanging limply behind them.

PANEL <$SN>

As above.

MADISON

That’s everyone. Shut it down!

PANEL <$SN>

From above/far away. Easton kneels in the middle of the chaos and medic start to flood the scene, and gurneys are being wheeled on.

*    *    *

PANEL <$SN>

INT. – MEDICAL BAY – LATER

PANEL <$SN>

At the far end, separated by several empty beds, Easton waits in front of a curtain.

PANEL <$SN>

Hodge comes up behind her

DOCTOR HODGE

You can see him, you know.

PANEL <$SN>

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

I know.

PANEL <$SN>

Hodge enter at the end of the curtain and holds it open for Easton.

DOCTOR HODGE

He’s unconscious, Dear. He won’t bite.

PANEL <$SN>

Easton stands holding her own arm insecurely beside Braydon’s bed.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

My Stars.

PANEL <$SN>

She collapses in the chair beside the bed.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

I should have been there.

PANEL <$SN>

She looks at him, leaning closer.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Damn it Glen! Why won’t you let me help you?!

PANEL <$SN>

Hodge does something medical.

DOCTOR HODGE

I hardly see how you could have helped them. How anyone could have.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

I could have been there with them.

DOCTOR HODGE

And you’d be lying in one of these beds alone with the rest of them.

(cont)

That would leave Carmichael in charge, and nobody wants that.

Easton smiles a little.

 

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

He saved all their lives, didn’t he?

DOCTOR HODGE

Of those that are conscious, few have been willing to speak. But I’ve heard snippets. He did a great deal for them.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

I hate that stupid armor. It turns him into a hero.

Close-up on the armor

DOCTOR HODGE

And that’s a bad thing?

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

It will be one of these days when it can’t save him anymore.

DOCTOR HODGE

It is a truly mystifying technology. Even after years of serving on the Commander’s crew, I have hardly more knowledge about it than when I began.

(cont)

So many questions to ask. Where did it come from? Who made it? How did our Commander get it?

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Sometimes you over think things Doc. It protects him in battle and heals him when they’re over. That’s all —

PANEL <$SN>

Brayden’s eyes flicker.

DOCTOR HODGE

He’s coming to.

PANEL <$SN>

Easton backs away suddenly toward the curtain.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

I was never here.

PANEL <$SN>

Brayden’s voice comes from behind the curtain as Easton slinks away.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN (OFF)

Get your ass back in here Lieutenant.

PANEL <$SN>

Easton begrudgingly reenters the “room”

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

I thought you were never going to call me that again.

(cont)

I’m glad you’re alright.

PANEL <$SN>

The Commander sits up and grabs her wrist.

DOCTOR HODGE

Sir, perhaps —

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Quiet Hodge.

(cont)

What the hell was that?

Easton looks confused and possible a little frightened/wary.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Sir?

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

You didn’t see anything? Tell me again!

Easton grits her teeth angrily.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

I didn’t. See. Anything.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Then why were you so desperate to come?

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Because I’m sick of you leaving me behind, for one thing! You chose me as your Lieutenant, silly me, I expected to be treated as such!

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Leaving the second on-ship during dangerous missions is a completely acceptable practice.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Not without my knowledge. Orchestrating missions behind my back and childish, and I hadn’t been aware of this one and waiting in the control room, half of the men out there could be lying in the morgue, not the hospital wing!

(cont)

Not that you would care, golden boy, with that armor to protect you.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

How dare you! I value the life of every man on my crew, including yours!

(cont)

Though each time you open your mouth it’s getting a little harder.

DOCTOR HODGE

Perhaps I should leave you two to —

They each point a finger at Hodge without breaking their eye lock.

BOTH

No!

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Hodge, how are the men?

DOCTOR HODGE

Three concussions, two unconscious, six broken bones, three stab wounds, twelve energy burns – six minor, four severe and two critical – but thus far everyone’s made it.

Brayden grabs Easton’s shoulder, eyeing the bandage on her shoulder.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Any you?

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

I’m fine. Stop avoiding the subject.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

I could say the same. You’re sure you didn’t any of this coming?

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Well I guess I saw this blowup coming, but I didn’t need a premonition for that.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Stars I hate Cintarans. Always spilling out prophesies and prediction and never seeing anything useful.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

I’m not a god. I can’t see everything, and I don’t choose what I see.

DOCTOR HODGE

We in the medical community have long believed that Cintaran premonitions are not glimpses into the a future time, but rather a complex set of probabilities processed by their unconscious minds and fed into the consciousness through dreams and visions. That anyone’s brains, particularly and entire race’s, can function consistently on that level is astounding.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Which means I can only process the data I’m given. And if you never let me off this ship, I’ll never figure out what’s missing.

Brayden sits blot upright.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Easton, what are you missing?

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

I don’t know. That’s why it’s missing.

She sits back down in the chair.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

But for a while now, months, almost all of what I’ve been able to see is what on Cintar we call a parlan’tal. Basically it means you go into a vision state, but nothing happens. All you see is a blur before it dies away. Its normal every once in a while. Like a word on this tip of your tongue that you can’t recall.

(cont)

But this. This is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. Every night I’m sucked into a world made only of red and orange and blinding flashes of light. It’s mute and is blurry and it’s threatening. 

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

And you never reported this before now?

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

So you could laugh at me? Tell me how useless my people are?

Brayden looks regretfully to the side.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

I’m sorry.

(cont)

Lieutenant Commander Easton Cantrell you are hereby dishonorably discharged from the United Star Systems Fleet and are to await Court Marshall for withholding critical information and jeopardizing the safety of your crew.

Easton’s face.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

What? Glen you can’t be serious.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

I’m sorry.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

@#$%&%#@!

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Get out.

PANEL <$SN>

Outside the curtain, Easton storms away, past the crowd that had gathered to listen.

*    *    *

PANEL <$SN>

INT. – EASTON’S QUARTERS – LATER

Easton punched furiously at the force field punching bag suspended in the corner of her room.

PANEL <$SN>

A flash of some earlier information.

PANEL <$SN>

Several panels like this: punch/flashback, punch/flashback etc.

*    *    *

PANEL <$SN>

INT. EASTON’S QUARTERS – NIGHT

Close-up on Easton’s eyes.

PANEL <$SN>

They snap open, and her pupils are ringed in orange, forming a weird pattern over her irises.

*    *    *

PANEL <$SN>

INT. – HOSPITAL WING – CONTINUOUS

Easton bursts in, running frantically to the other end.

PANEL <$SN>

She shakes Glen awake violently.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Wake up!

PANEL <$SN>

Hodge comes in, hands up to calm Easton down, looking worried that she’s disturbing his patients.

DOCTOR HODGE

Lieutenant, please  . . .

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Glen get up!

PANEL <$SN>

Brayden snaps awake.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Not exactly the person I wanted to see.

PANEL <$SN>

She shakes him, hands clinging desperately to his shoulders

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

They’re coming. Now. Three ships, maybe more. You have to evacuate the ship!

PANEL <$SN>

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

If this is some kind of ploy to win back you title . . .

PANEL <$SN>

She slaps him. Cuz really, why not?

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Glen please! I’m begging you. If you do nothing, you will loose everyone on this ship.

PANEL <$SN>

He grabs her wrists and studies her. Indecision shows on his face

NO DIALOGUE.

PANEL <$SN>

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Hodge, where’s you intercom?

PANEL <$SN>

Standing at the wall, Brayden speaks into the intercom and addresses the ship. (Could show various panels of the crews reactions with the announcement overlaid.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Attention. This is Commander Brayden. I am issuing a Mercury level evacuation order. This is not optional; this is not a drill. I repeat: Mercury level evacuation order. All personnel to the emergency shuttles.

PANEL <$SN>

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Hodge! Get everyone here into the medical shuttle, then grab as many extra supplies as you can carry; it’s going to be a rough landing. As soon as you’re packed get in yourself. I want you on the first shuttle. We’re going to need you doctor.

DOCTOR HODGE

Yes Sir!

PANEL <$SN>

Hodge scurries away.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

And me?

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

You’re free to go. You’re no longer under obligation to the Star Fleet.

PANEL <$SN>

Easton grabs his forearm.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Like hell I’m not. This is my ship too, and you need me.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Very well. With me.

*    *    *

PANEL <$SN>

INT. – HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

They run along in the opposite direction of everyone fleeing to the shuttles.

DO DIALOGUE

PANEL <$SN>

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Once we get to the bridge —

PANEL <$SN>

INT. – BRIDGE – CONTINUOUS

Brayden’s face as he look in though the bridge door.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Oh my Sunstar.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL (OFF)

What’s —

PANEL <$SN>

She joins him in the doorway, eyes wide with horror.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

. . .

PANEL <$SN>

Out the panoramic force field window of the bridge, three Murinarian ships loom in formation, energy guns glowing as the charge to fire.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL (OFF)

Hold on!

PANEL <$SN>

The ship rocks as the scene glows orange the enemy ships fire. Brayden and Easton cling to the ship, one on each side of the door frame.

PANEL <$SN>

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

We don’t have much time before they’re charged to fire again.

PANEL <$SN>

Brayden narrows his eyes, concentrating.

PANEL <$SN>

He steps up onto the large center platform on the Bridge floor. It starts to glow as he speaks, sending out blue light in channels from where he stands.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Identification: Commander Glen Brayden, United Star System Fleet, vessel designation Onyx.

(cont)

Show me: short range sensors, long range sensors, nearest USSF vessel location . . .

PANEL <$SN>

These displays start to pop up as different colored holographic panels ringing the platform.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

. . . Coordinates and data sheet for the planet we are currently orbiting, evacuation progress, life signs map, damage report.

PANEL <$SN>

Easton steps onto the platform, passing though one of the nearest semitransparent (aka translucent) displays.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Identification: Lieutenant Commander Easton Cantrell, USSF Onyx.

(cont)

I hope you didn’t lock me out of the system.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Never got the chance.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Show me: shipboard weapons arsenal and firing station.

PANEL <$SN>

Looking at Brayden though one the displays, with Easton behind and to the side.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

You can’t possible hope to shoot them down.

PANEL <$SN>

The screen of the firing station, locked in on one on the ship’s cannons.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

No, but if I can hit a few of their cannons, it might buy us a minute or two.

PANEL <$SN>

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

How are we looking?

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Three ships at point blank range, two more on the sensors. A large boarding party had been transported shipboard, but they’re staying away from the evacuation pods on Deck 7.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

What are the chances we’re getting help?

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Nearest friendly ship is forty minutes out. Programming emergency shuttles coordinates for planet of orbit: Designation: Sarteer; Ally status: Unknown.

(cont)

Launch when ready; Repeat: launch when ready.

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

First wave of shuttles is away.

PANEL <$SN>

Sound FX: Boom!

A massive blast hits the ship, flooding the bridge in orange light and rocking the image sideways.

PANEL <$SN>

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Heavy damage to Deck 6 Sectors 3-8

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

Three guns removed, but I won’t be able to get enough of them before they power up again.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

You may not get the chance. There’s a platoon of Muris headed our way.

PANEL <$SN>

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

We’ll deal with them. We need to figure out what they’re after.

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Deck 6 . . . They’re trying to blow the power cores!

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

That’s impossible. They would have to establish an active wormhole, otherwise the cores are inert. There’s know way they could do that without . . .

(cont)

It was a set-up, all of it. The faulty information, the ambush, all so they could find our location and hack our generator security.

PANEL <$SN>

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

Is that a premonition?

LIEUTENANT CANTRELL

No, just common sense at this point. Not like it would matter anyway. Even the farthest shuttles won’t escape a blast that size.

(cont)

Can you shut the gate down from here?

PANEL <$SN>

Brayden types on the holo-screen. (I think FitzSimmons do something more like . . . Jk)

COMMANDER BRAYDEN

I’m locked out. I can’t hack it in time, especially now that we’ve got company.

PANEL <$SN>

FX: Bang! Clang!

The door warps as the soldiers try to break through.

PANEL <$SN>

Brayden unclips the sword from his belt. One entire side glows with blue energy. Easton grabs her own, and the red energy beam glows to life.

PANEL <$SN>

The Murinarian soldiers flood the room. Brayden and Easton have at them. (Oh, P.S. The Murinaians aren’t people, they’re aliens with stick-thin arms and legs, tall head, basically no eyes, and bodies made of strings of sinew and muscle draped under rough red-orange skin.)