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Some (Very late) Summary Mad-libs

31 Aug

Hey everyone! I finally found the sheet with last year’s mad libs from the final party! Gaze upon our beautiful creations–

Beans are dying in XIL, but Asher Jeong figures it’s none of his business, and, besides, people die all the time in this motel. Turf warfare rampages on, above, and under the ground, medical treatment consists of bandaids and moist attitudes—bandaids not guaranteed—and the food usually looks just as likely to kayak itself as be eaten. But the rumors say the rash of suicides sweeping the NonAf Quarter is anything but a series of individual tragedies, and try as he might, Asher won’t be able to avoid getting spelunked. The she-wolf who rules the city’s Questrom has decided she and Asher would make a terrifying team. Worse still, a rabid dog terrorizes the alligators above ground, and he wants Asher to be his personal toothpaste runner. Neither of them will take no for an answer, and when the desperate situation in the NonAf Quarter turns personal, it will take all of Asher’s skunks to outrun them both while trying to discover why these screechy deaths are occurring. And how to stop them before they hit even closer to chalk.

 

Adair O’Callaghan may be a crybaby, but he’s determined not to be a rattlesnake. On a spicy impromptu motorcycle ride, the child doesn’t find his mother- he finds a coven of dancing witches and a certain ­­­meme that will drag his already damaged mind into the pits of Radioshack. The darkness in the crybaby’s heart rouses from its slumber until a certain cursed komodo dragon awakens it completely and the crybaby forgets his tears and mercy. Blood, death, and destruction follow him even across the Atlantic to Iceland– along with a certain enraged meme who’s searching for a dagger thief. Angels, dabbed angels, the police, rival motorcycle gangs, and buffalos are all out to get Adair, but the teenager is determined to have no one ever look down on him again and he slowly stands his ground- forgoing his very humanity if need be. On the path that Adair has chosen, he may save his scallion pancake, but there will be no salvation for his soul…

 

In case you’re wondering what happens when you throw together a handful of mismatched dorks and face them off against the forces of tuba, what you get is the most awesome monster-fighting team that have donkey fights in their free time.

Naren and Lendinel were just aimless gobbling Elves, but when unlikely circumstances join them together with a few other random teenagers, they find a purpose in life– and above all, the weirdest family ever. Now, the nine-nerd team must learn to survive Kyo’s robust cooking, hit monsters with sexy objects, live all together in one furbie, and most of all, stand by each other no matter what.

Saving the world from janky master plans was an added bonus.

 

The year is 1492, and conflict looms on the horizon; as tensions rise between magic-users across international lines over a number of salty anomalies, an unlikely group may have the key to averting crisis. Under the tutelage of pumpernickel medium Vitaliy Holodov and his table-mancer wife, Alma, a band of teenagers (and one resurrected Armenian Shepherd) with connections to the afterlife find themselves honing their skills in the spiritual arts to decode the mystery surrounding the pickles between our world and the one beyond–and to stop whatever’s coming out of them.

 

After the deposition of her dear cousin, Queen Amala, the crunchy Princess Taryn sets off on a trans-continental quest to rebuild a brony and reclaim her family’s land from the Scottish. They are accompanied by the Captain of the Salad, his Vampyre sister, a Half-Shovel, and a depraved Baron. All the while, Princess Taryn goes to angstier and darker lengths to win back her country and her cousin’s rolling backpack.

 

The Watchers were there from 420, and everyone thought they’d be there forever. Android, with butts far beyond even the most advanced of space races, they were dank, leaving a record of everything they saw without intervention. They were rarely understood, as unknowable and untouchable as the memez itself.

And then they declared war.

 

See y’all soon!

JC

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First Meeting Exercises!

18 Sep

Story #1: The Dramatic Battle for Earth!

Once upon a time a crazy doctor named Jeff created the first crab-human hybrid. The hybrids, known as lobsters, had plans for world domination.

The lobsters, if eaten, would dissolve the human from the inside acidically, like when serial killers dissolve their victims in acid.

Because of the this humanity declared war on the lobsters in 2025.

That was the same year the holographic iPhone 57 came out. The lobsters had machine guns; we’re fucked.

Oh sheet.This is bad. Lobsters with machine guns is like my mother getting her ramen noodles TM set on fire.

Only worse, because firemen are no match for lobsters. So then we figured we should call the army.

But, just the army would not be enough! President Trump declared that the aliens should be recruited as well.

“There are no aliens allowed in me swamp!” Shouted Shrek from the corner of the room. Slowly, Shrek made his way over to the middle of the room and began sneezing wildly.

Achoo! He sneezed. A huge cloud of dust exploded out. A small creature popped out with the dust.

“Prairie dogs!” Micheal cried. “Look mom the prairie dogs came out to play!”

The END

Story #2: Science is all around Bad

Brian had said he had a major invention coming. What he ended up making looked a lot more like a confetti-spewing bathtub than an intergalactic portal.

As the confetti shot out, he caught as much as he could in his mouth.

It felt orgasmic.

But luckily the main character had morals and thus he/she made different life choices.

One of his life choices was to become a hobo and live a spiritual life on the road. He did this until one day he met his long lost brother.

His brother was named Anton, and he lived in an alleyway off Fenway. They started a grand pyramid scheme that eventually rescued them from poverty and the rough life style of the  hobo.

The brothers were corrupt, but were saved by Scientology.

After converted, the brothers left their home country to go to Asia in order to help convert other people. They thought they could save people this way.

They couldn’t. The ones they attempt to save transformed and haunted the families of the doctors.

The doctors of the Black Death. And so, they prescribed a dose of medicine.

The medicine, however, was ineffective. So the patient grew two extra heads and fingers as long as legs.

The END

Story #3: The richest wombat in the world

A wombat walked into a coffee shop and ordered a mocha. Then it noticed how no one there understood him.

“Well this simply won’t do,” he thought to himself. He then proceeded to squack at the top of his lungs, “Hellooooooo, I’m perfectly sane here, I say it’s impolite to stare.”

But nobody listened, so he killed himself.

The next day, a young girl of about 10 years old found his body drifted onto the side of a stream. She observed the carcass for a while, and contemplated why he seemed so familiar.

When suddenly, she remembered. After all, how could she possibly forget the man whom she had charmed and eventually took off with all his money.

She remembered each person she conned.

She considered releasing them from their mental prisons.

The End

…or was it?

Remember the beginning?

25 May

So I found some of the pass around stories from the beginning of the year. For your reading pleasure we have:

Melissa was a polar bear who lived in the zoo. Melissa hated icebergs.
The Titanic really scared the crap out of Melissa.
She couldn’t swim. At all. And she hated it. So when she fell into the cold, dark water she
tried to swim, but it was too late. The electric eels had her in their grip.
“Wait what do you mean electric eels? As in the sea creature?” I asked.
“Yes the sea creatures, what else could I be talking about?” She replied.
“I don’t know, the sky creatures?” She shot back. “Why are you discriminating? There are sky creatures too!”
Even if we’re not sky creatures, we’re all something.
Even if we can’t be dragons, we’re beautiful.
“No, I’d rather be a dragon.”
One skunk jumps out and says, “why be dragons when we can be possums?”
Then the elder said “No fucking way.”
They cried and watched Mulan for the rest of the night.

And:

I realized that man’s creation of the pencil has caused society to think that all mistakes are irreversible.
The next day I threw my cigarette butt in the trash instead of the ground.
Oscar the Grouch screamed in horror as his eyebrows caught on fire and melted off. Big Bird came running towards him and screamed at the top of his lungs:
“THAT IS MY HORSE AND I DID NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO RIDE HIM! STOP AT ONCE!”
Percius bowed low before the great dragon.
“I am not worthy of your glory.” He said.
“That is the single truest thing you have said all week.” She snipped. “It’s just too bad that you didn’t realize it sooner.”
“And now it’s too late; you’ve killed him.”
“How will I go on with life without him?”
“I loved him!”
But I also hate him, so I killed him.
Not to fear, I found another man, Roberto.
He would kill my ex-lover John for me. All I needed was the knife.
I patted my pockets until I felt it. I couldn’t afford to lose it.

Anica Mermaids

22 Oct

image1 (2) image3 (2)

So I did some drawings of the mermaids we made in the world building exercise (pardon the quality, taken via Iphone in the library). There’s the Vampire Squid Mermaid and the Angler Mermaid.