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First Meeting Exercises!

18 Sep

Story #1: The Dramatic Battle for Earth!

Once upon a time a crazy doctor named Jeff created the first crab-human hybrid. The hybrids, known as lobsters, had plans for world domination.

The lobsters, if eaten, would dissolve the human from the inside acidically, like when serial killers dissolve their victims in acid.

Because of the this humanity declared war on the lobsters in 2025.

That was the same year the holographic iPhone 57 came out. The lobsters had machine guns; we’re fucked.

Oh sheet.This is bad. Lobsters with machine guns is like my mother getting her ramen noodles TM set on fire.

Only worse, because firemen are no match for lobsters. So then we figured we should call the army.

But, just the army would not be enough! President Trump declared that the aliens should be recruited as well.

“There are no aliens allowed in me swamp!” Shouted Shrek from the corner of the room. Slowly, Shrek made his way over to the middle of the room and began sneezing wildly.

Achoo! He sneezed. A huge cloud of dust exploded out. A small creature popped out with the dust.

“Prairie dogs!” Micheal cried. “Look mom the prairie dogs came out to play!”

The END

Story #2: Science is all around Bad

Brian had said he had a major invention coming. What he ended up making looked a lot more like a confetti-spewing bathtub than an intergalactic portal.

As the confetti shot out, he caught as much as he could in his mouth.

It felt orgasmic.

But luckily the main character had morals and thus he/she made different life choices.

One of his life choices was to become a hobo and live a spiritual life on the road. He did this until one day he met his long lost brother.

His brother was named Anton, and he lived in an alleyway off Fenway. They started a grand pyramid scheme that eventually rescued them from poverty and the rough life style of the  hobo.

The brothers were corrupt, but were saved by Scientology.

After converted, the brothers left their home country to go to Asia in order to help convert other people. They thought they could save people this way.

They couldn’t. The ones they attempt to save transformed and haunted the families of the doctors.

The doctors of the Black Death. And so, they prescribed a dose of medicine.

The medicine, however, was ineffective. So the patient grew two extra heads and fingers as long as legs.

The END

Story #3: The richest wombat in the world

A wombat walked into a coffee shop and ordered a mocha. Then it noticed how no one there understood him.

“Well this simply won’t do,” he thought to himself. He then proceeded to squack at the top of his lungs, “Hellooooooo, I’m perfectly sane here, I say it’s impolite to stare.”

But nobody listened, so he killed himself.

The next day, a young girl of about 10 years old found his body drifted onto the side of a stream. She observed the carcass for a while, and contemplated why he seemed so familiar.

When suddenly, she remembered. After all, how could she possibly forget the man whom she had charmed and eventually took off with all his money.

She remembered each person she conned.

She considered releasing them from their mental prisons.

The End

…or was it?

Remember the beginning?

25 May

So I found some of the pass around stories from the beginning of the year. For your reading pleasure we have:

Melissa was a polar bear who lived in the zoo. Melissa hated icebergs.
The Titanic really scared the crap out of Melissa.
She couldn’t swim. At all. And she hated it. So when she fell into the cold, dark water she
tried to swim, but it was too late. The electric eels had her in their grip.
“Wait what do you mean electric eels? As in the sea creature?” I asked.
“Yes the sea creatures, what else could I be talking about?” She replied.
“I don’t know, the sky creatures?” She shot back. “Why are you discriminating? There are sky creatures too!”
Even if we’re not sky creatures, we’re all something.
Even if we can’t be dragons, we’re beautiful.
“No, I’d rather be a dragon.”
One skunk jumps out and says, “why be dragons when we can be possums?”
Then the elder said “No fucking way.”
They cried and watched Mulan for the rest of the night.

And:

I realized that man’s creation of the pencil has caused society to think that all mistakes are irreversible.
The next day I threw my cigarette butt in the trash instead of the ground.
Oscar the Grouch screamed in horror as his eyebrows caught on fire and melted off. Big Bird came running towards him and screamed at the top of his lungs:
“THAT IS MY HORSE AND I DID NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO RIDE HIM! STOP AT ONCE!”
Percius bowed low before the great dragon.
“I am not worthy of your glory.” He said.
“That is the single truest thing you have said all week.” She snipped. “It’s just too bad that you didn’t realize it sooner.”
“And now it’s too late; you’ve killed him.”
“How will I go on with life without him?”
“I loved him!”
But I also hate him, so I killed him.
Not to fear, I found another man, Roberto.
He would kill my ex-lover John for me. All I needed was the knife.
I patted my pockets until I felt it. I couldn’t afford to lose it.

Anica Mermaids

22 Oct

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So I did some drawings of the mermaids we made in the world building exercise (pardon the quality, taken via Iphone in the library). There’s the Vampire Squid Mermaid and the Angler Mermaid.